It’s almost my favorite time of the year. Don’t lie to
yourself, it’s probably your favorite time of the year too. You may think that
summertime is your favorite. You go on vacation and find yourself sitting on
the beach with a trashy novel, surrounded by surf, sun, and attractive members
of the opposite sex. What’s not to like? Or maybe you think spring is your
thing. The freezing snow and ice starts to melt away and you surround yourself
with luscious greens and colorful blooms. It definitely ranks up there.
However, neither spring nor summer are your favorite times of the year and
you know it (I’m not going to make an argument against wintertime though as
people who claim it is their favorite time of year are obviously only trying to
be different for difference sake or have taken one too many pucks to the head.
Either way they cannot be convinced to change their mind).
Fall is your favorite time of the year. Just give in and
accept it. Summertime is too hot and springtime is
filled with pollen. They rank an easy 2nd and 3rd on the
list. Fall is not without its problems. It’s too short. Normally, summer spills
over into September and even most of October. Then you have like 2 weeks of really nice
weather (unless it rains a lot) and then winter smacks you in the face by
mid-November. And that’s just here in the South. You poor Yankees don’t even
have a fall. And if you do it apparently starts at the end of July. That can be
the only explanation for the rash of pumpkin beers that go on sale at the local
liquor stores on August 1 ensuring that when Halloween rolls around I will none to drink.
Fall is also when school starts back and parents have to go
back to work. Total bummer and I understand that, but you were probably just
getting tired of seeing each other all the time anyways. Kids want to see their
friends and parents want their kids out of the house. It’s not a bad thing.
Embrace it
Fashion-wise, fall is a bust too. All the short shorts and
bare skin gets covered back up and replaced with pants and longer sleeves,
usually in some unflattering color with orange hues and drabby brown. You also
have to put up the flip flops. It takes me a couple of weeks to get used to
that. I don’t want to have to wear real shoes but it just sort of happens in
the fall.
Fall is certainly not without its problems but it does have
one thing that no other time of year can boast: college football. And that’s
why it’s my favorite time of the year and if you’d quit lying to yourself you
could admit it too. Go ahead. We can treat it like an AA meeting. My name is ____(fill
in the blank)___, and I have a problem with college football.
The first step is admitting you have a problem. Telling the
world that fall is really your favorite time of year is a great first step.
It doesn’t matter what team you cheer for. College football
is upon us. They're all like the Orcs from the Lord of the Rings coming. Leading the way is that huge-ass mountain troll banging on the drum like some sort of demonic drum major from hell and you know they’re just over the hill.
It’s ok.
Let them come.
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